If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
