Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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