STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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