I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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