This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
