Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
