Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
