Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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