I hate your face
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
