i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
