Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
