i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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