I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Randomize
