So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
