I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
