he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
