His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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