out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
