a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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