Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
