Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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