I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
