Someone shit on the floor
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
