i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
