never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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