i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
