So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
