Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
