just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
