i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
