There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
