is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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