Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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