idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
