I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
