its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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