So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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