we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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