I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
