i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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