In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
