Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
