I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
