I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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