Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
