I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
