I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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