Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
