I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
