was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
